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Are You There God? It’s Me, The Big La, Part 1 (circa 2004)

Are you there God? It’s me, the Big La!!! If so, could you spare some time out of your busy schedule and speak with me for couple minutes? I ‘ve got a few things on my mind and you’re the only person who can satisfy my curiosity. I was gonna write to you earlier, but, as you know it’s ‘Transsexual Week’ on Springer, and Stefano’s up to his old tricks on “Days of Our Lives” (I think unemployment is getting to me. Please help me find another job).

But seriously, I have a few things I need to get off my chest. Now, I know what you’re thinking: I want to know ‘the nature of life and the universe’ and crap like that. But I’m sure you get asked that all the time. I don’t need to know the answers to the cosmos. I’m one of the goods ones (see the halo over my head?).

Anyway, I just wanted to clear the air. Since you see and know all, I’m sure you’ve been noticing me asking more than a few question concerning faith and religion. I know you’ve seen me p*** [DIVINE CENSORSHIP] a few people off by challenging their faith and their definition of your ‘will’. Honestly, it isn’t that I’m trying to swerve your followers, or spin some blasphemous scene. It’s just some of your ‘ELECTED OFFICIALS’ tend to send conflicting signals, which doesn’t sit well with the population, at large.

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